Dr. Rich's Melheimian Maxims

Mother's Last Day

On the night my mother died, I lay in bed and wept—not so much

in grief, but in thanks for all the marvelous gifts she had given to enrich

and sustain my life. Mom planted many beautiful seeds in me—

seeds for which I am and will be eternally grateful. But of all the

gifts she gave and all the seeds she planted, I believe her love for

reading in general, and for reading God’s Word in specific, were by

far the best.
 

We had celebrated Kathryn Marie’s seventy-sixth birthday in the

hospital with cupcakes the day after she broke her hip. We blessed

her and prayed with her when she decided to have the surgery,

knowing her frail body might not survive, but knowing that spending

the rest of her life in bed wasn’t what she wanted either.

We laughed when, prior to the operation, the doctor asked, “Do

you want us to attempt any extraordinary measures if something

should happen during surgery and your heart should stop?” When

Mom asked what the doctor meant, he said, “Do you want us to

pound on your chest?” She thought for a moment, scratched her chin

and replied, “Oh, maybe just a little. But don’t go to any trouble.”

Mom always had such a great sense of perspective. And humor.

And direction. And faith. She knew where she was going. If she lived,

she lived to the Lord, and if she died, she died to the Lord. As far as

she was concerned, whether she lived or whether she died, she would

be just fine.
 

We kissed, cried and prayed when Mom went into surgery. We

cried and prayed again when she came out of the operating room

wearing a full-faced oxygen mask but didn’t wake up. We waited and

prayed and hoped against hope as her kidneys began to shut down.

We pleaded with her to open her eyes and say her goodbyes when her

grandchildren came into the room. We held our breath when her

eyes fluttered open one last time to see them, and we thought we

sensed a faint smile on her parched lips.

Then, one week and a day from her sterile cupcaked birthday

party, we said our goodbyes and stood at the bedside as they took

her off life support.

Download On the Night My Mother Died 

from the book "Holding Your Family Together"

 

The Voldemort Effect

Here's a piece you can use on Sunday if you want to get people talking about the Boston Bombing, and help parents see the necessity of "Every night in every home" sharing of highs and lows. Download TheVoldemortEffect2

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The Future of Cross+Gen Sunday School

I experienced the future of Cross+Gen Sunday school last night at Lutheran Church of the Master in Lakewood, CO. 
1. Tables covered with butcher paper and a box of crayons. 
2. Cross+Gen groups starting FAITH5 by going around the table sharing highs and lows and turning them into prayers. 
3. Table questions based on the preaching text with each table only answering ONE question, then sending a reporter to the newsprint on the wall to record their thoughts. 
4. Elders and teens and children all teaching each other the combined wisdom of each table. Retired teachers getting to share deep wisdom. Teenagers modeling deep wisdom of their own and giving hope to the elders that there is a future. Younger children being validated, appreciated, and nurtured. Younger children getting to see teens share their faith and thoughts out loud - great modeling. 
5. Two pastors, Rob Moss and Brigette Weier, actually relaxing at a table while taking part just like everyone else - imagine that... two pastors in Sunday school... in charge... and enjoying a conversation with an 11 year old, a couple in their 30s, and a visitor in his late 50s... and discussing the parallels between Jesus' words on the cross and the Psalms. 
6. Then closing prayers of the people that actually came from the highs and lows of the people and...
7. Everyone blessing everyone at their table with the mark of the cross and a single themeatic blessing.
8. Oh yeah, and all of this around some delicious Lasana (they called it "Lent-sania"), followed by...
9. Clearing the tables and moving into the sanctuary to continue the worship, to continue the theme with the ground work laid, and
10. Sending the people home with the theme for a nightly FAITH5 engagement all week long. 

This is SO simple and SO doable. 

Good on ya, Brigette Weier.

God on ya.

The Mystery

Beads of pearl strings

Webs of silk

Moonlight drops of Spider's milk

Hidden ‘neath the

Shallow sea

God's still hand

In mystery

 

Under every shell and stone

On the surface, deep in bone

Every tidal gallery

Art awaits

In mystery


From the cosmos

Spinning bright

From the atom's inner night

Ears can hear and eyes can see

God's still hand in mystery

 

Not in voice and not in word

But in wonder God is heard

Only those who stop shall see

God's still hand

Artist's hand

Weaving still

And still, and still

Weaving still

The Mystery

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For as the Rain and Snow... Rundman Channels the Beatles

I wrote a little song a while back from the "For as the rain and snow come down from heaven..." text for our Bible Song children/family curriculum (a themeset on the prophets that He Qi is currently painting) and handed it to the brilliant Jonathan Rundman. "Channel the Beatles..." I told him. He grabbed the boys from Echelon and they knocked it out of the park, down to the actual instruments. It's particularly appropriate for today's snows... See what you think, and if you like it, give Jonathan a "Good on ya..."

9ForAstheRain(JonathanRundman)

 

Sleep and Learning

Interesting piece on sleep here that both backs up and slightly contradicts one core piece I teach on nightly faith encounters. 

They suggest you ONLY go to sleep when you are really tired. The consensus for children, however, is that a regular bedtime - whether the kid is tired or not - is more important.

What do you think?

SLEEP AND LEARNING

Getting That Book Written!

If you have a book in you that you've just never been able to get down on paper, I have a plan for you that will get it out - and build a buzz - a year from today. Read on. First, a quote: "The tragedy of life is to die with your music still in you." Oliver Wendell Holmes

I had coffee with my buddy Bill Huffhttp://www.huffpublishing.com/ yesterday at Luther Seminary. Bill has his own book publishing/promotion business, but has yet to write his own life story. Cancer survivor, deep sea diving accident survivor, armed robbery near death survivor, and many other interesting stories come from his life that taught him lessons on what matters, and would be of interest to lots of folks. I gave Bill my "here's how to finally get that book out of your head and into peoples' hands" advice. See if it applies to you:

A. Bill's Research Phase

Here's a simple way to get your whole book researched, in print and a buzz built BEFORE the book is even written.

1. Lock yourself up and simply write a working title, a log line, and ten chapter titles. Do it in one hour. Do it this weekend. Just get it done. It may all change by the end, but get a starting point.
2. Post each chapter title, one at a time, for two weeks on your blog
3. Write and post a sub-title and a short paragraph with your best thoughts/stories Monday/Wednesday/Friday for each of those two weeks
4. Ask 10 of your sharpest, most connected friends to commit to each posting one thought, story or comment during those two weeks (schedule them on Tuesday/Thursday/Saturday)
5. Invite 100 of your best contacts to consider getting in on the conversation and posting thoughts, stories, comments (Guarantee #4, invite #5)
6. Gather and polish the stories as the chapter comes to a close, asking open-ended questions to the whole group, asking "who else should I talk to about this theme?" and "what is one thing I'm missing here?"
7. Put the chapter "to bed" and move on to the next, the next, the next
8. Take two weeks of, and don't do ANYTHING with the book

B. Bill's Organizational Phase

1. After your two week hiatus, give yourself the gift of a week locked up in a cabin away from people, phone, television, email, and all tech to turn each chapter into a shape that then can be embellished...
Monday AM Chapter 1 - Read through the material and add, subtract, consolidate, fine-tune.
Monday PM Chapter 2 - Ditto
Tuesday AM Chapter 3 - - Ditto
Tuesday PM Chapter 4 - Ditto through Chapter 10 on Friday
2. With all chapters outlined, use Saturday to do an audio read with recording software and add anything that seems appropriate AS YOU READ
3. First thing Sunday morning listen to the whole book with a blank legal pad at hand, making notes as you listen to your own voice, recording time code at points you want to embellish, ideas that pop into your head, other illustrations you think you want to add, etc.
4. Go home and put the ENTIRE project away for two weeks. Don't touch it. Don't look at it. Don't think about it. (Yeah, yeah, that's impossible.) Let your subconscious do its own work while you enrich your brain with other thoughts and experiences.

C. Bill's Polish Phase

1. Week 1: Take out the notes and audio for chapter 1 and concentrate on getting a next-to-final form of it done. Each night before bed, reread the chapter with your blank legal pad next to the bed. Make any notes. Tell God and your brain you want some ideas by morning that will enrich the book. Turn off the lights. The moment you wake, record whatever thoughts come to mind regarding the book. Get up and have a cup of coffee, go for a walk (oxygen, glucose, BDNF), then sit down for one hour and polish the chapter with the new stuff. Do this every day this week, then put the chapter aside. Send the chapter to your 10 original contributors for their critique, and to anyone from the 100 friends who also showed an interest. 
2. Week 2: Ditto for Chapter 2
3. Week 3-10 Ditto
4. Week 11 - Write the Epilogue
5. Week 12 - Write the Prologue
6. Week 13-15 - Add and polish anything your critiquers suggest
7. Week 16 -18 - Put it away and don't touch it
8. Week 20 - Do the final polish

So, that's my plan. Between now and a year from now, you'll have it done in a masterful way that you, alone, could never have done and you'll have set the stage for a nice buzz when it is finally released.

Oh yeah. A week from today sell it for a $100K advance.

(-;

Rich

Your Best-Sellers in 2014, 2015 & 2016

Let's say you have a book or three in you and want to get the first published by 2014.

Unless you are a public figure, the octamom or a Navy Seal, its harder to get an agent than it is to get a book publisher. And, by the way, its impossible to get a book publisher. SO - unless the title, treatment and marketing plan you devise looks like a winner from the moment they pick it up, you don't stand much of a chance of getting a house to pick it up and put a nickel into it. 

You can self-publish all you want for very little money, but unless you have a Seth Godinish 1000-member tribe hanging on your every word, you'll be selling the books out of your trunk from now until you go on Social Security. 

What you want is a real publisher to take an interest, and give you an advance, and do the marketing, and send you checks twice a year from now until you're dead, and then to send checks to your grandchildren. 

What is more likely is the publisher won't see it unless an agent they trust and have worked with on revenue-positive projects before says, "I have a new author with a piece that I think will work for you." And to get that to happen, you've got to convince an agent that you aren't a one-hit-wonder, but a sharp mind with a sharper wit, a unique perspective, a marvelous way of sharing your perspective, and a network of people who will pay to hear your perspective. 

Oh, and that you'll do the work necessary to polish your craft. 

Oh, and that the second and third book will be out a year after the first book gets traction, and a year after that, too, and you'll be working EVERY DAY from now until then to get the word out.

As for your THREE books, let me suggest 2014, 2015 and 2016 as your most prolific years, and the years that, with a TON of work, blood, sweat and tears, have a slight chance of padding your retirement account nicely. Here's what you need to do this afternoon...

1. Choose the project MOST likely to get noticed and put the other two aside. 

2. Download "How to Write a Book Proposal" by Michael Larsen (my first agent) and organize the skeleton of the book EXACTLY as Michael suggests (so that it becomes salable from the get-go to an agent). 

3. Watch the Oscars tonight and pretend they're giving the "Best Picture" award to the film based on your first book.

4. Take tomorrow off and read Michael's pdf (free) and do EXACTLY what he tells you.

5. Oh yeah, and buy me lunch when it hits the NYTimes Best Seller's list. And the most expensive wine on the menu. I'll toast to your success.

He who began the good work in you will be faithful to complete it, but you still have to show up.

(PS - Yeah, that's me on the floor, writing my first book. It was about a duck who couldn't quack. Turns out he could quack. He just didn't think there was much worth quacking about.)

http://www.writersdigest.com/writing-articles/by-writing-genre/nonfiction-by-writing-genre/book-proposal-exclusive

Pillow Fights and Peaceful Nights

Just had to share this encouraging note from Rev. Emily Rova-Hegener:

"Last night it was an absolute blast to hear people sharing their highs and lows! I spent 5 minutes preaching and laying the ground work with a lot of the good stuff from your writing and then we shared. Everyone was talking and focused! In my message, I said, "Kids, I am giving you permission to go ahead and have a pillow fight, wrestle, and do jumping jacks before bed and then share the FAITH 5, to wind down. On the way home, my kids said, "Mom, you said in your sermon that we could wrestle with you and have a pillow fight before we do the FAITH5, so can we, when we get home?!" Of course, I said! There were so many confirmation age kids and their parents, that came through at the end of worship and said, "That was great!"

Also, I am using the FATIH5 as in our weekly adult bible study and it is so much fun to see how easy and less intimidating it is to read the narrative lectionary text, AFTER, we've checked in and shared some highs and lows. People are opening up and willing to be vulnerable with each other....good, good stuff Rich. Thanks for being the creator of this and I have read your book, but found it hard to give editing suggestions because there was a lot there. So, I did read it and am putting it to practical use, just so you know. Thank you for the inspiration and for changing the way we engage with God in worship and in church........good stuff, my friend, good stuff. I'm praying for you this week too.....blessing, Emily"

(PS from Rich - Emily is testing a model for cross+gen, parent-involved worship/learning that is built on what we're calling the FAITH5:

1. Share (highs and lows)
2. Read (Sunday/Wednesday's text)
3. Talk (about how the highs and lows relate to the text)
4. Pray (for your highs and lows and for the world)
5. Bless (one another with the sign of the cross and some loving words.)

The process is outlined in a book coming out April 16, ("Holding Your Family Together" Regal Books)

If anyone else out there would be willing to do a quick read/review of a chapter or two of the book, I'd be honored to get your critique. Just fly me an email and I can fly you the manuscript. About 150 churches are testing the model for Lent, and we'll clean it up and release it as a six week series between Mothers and Fathers Day.

Emily - thanks for the encouraging note. You made my day...