The Melheimian Sabbatiblog

The difference between the mainline church and hospice: At least hospice admits it when they know you're dying.

There There

"There, there."

It was something my mom would say in consolation. I heard it often, accompanied by a hug, a smile, or a pat on the back.

There, there.

I don't know exactly what it meant, but I can still hear the love and the care and the presence and the touch.

Speaking of "there, there", I noted a subtle difference between the 50-30-somethings and the 20 somethings while at a post-wedding dinner in North Carolina recently. At a table of two dozen celebrants, all the 20 somethings kept their phones on their laps and were texting on and off throughout the dinner.

No. Really. All of them.

They were there, but they weren't really there there.

My Bishop lost his younger brother Andrew Rogness a month ago. Andrew had been serving at Prince of Peace Lutheran in Roseville. He sent all the pastors in the synod a note on the event yesterday. Here's a snippet:

Our family saw June 30 coming. Andrew was diagnosed with stage four cancer in August 2007, given two to five years to live, and began his journey. My father modeled for me how to grow old with grace; Andrew modeled how to face death with grace. There was no escape to denial; he spoke candidly about his cancer, of his condition, and about the question of life expectancy that was now front and center. Yet he refused to become fatalistic or morose, angry or depressed. Instead he seemed to live each day in even more vivid color, seeing and naming more clearly the abundant blessings that he now saw were his, past and present. He savored life, with grace and gratitude even more pronounced.
 
Many of you who have accompanied someone dying of a terminal illness know this to be a paradoxical journey of both deep pain and rich blessing. The prolonged agony of knowing life with all its relationships is slipping away is accompanied by the opportunity to name and dwell in the abundance of love that gives life its fullness. Andrew and Patti moved to the Cities a year or two before Gerry and I came in 2002. Like most of you, we were busy with the claims of work and our own families and activities. Sometimes weeks would go by without seeing each other. We probably spent more time together since August 2007 than in the 20 years before that. And in the process, this truth emerged: that when life is tenuous, life's priorities gain new clarity. I think we all know it. We just aren't good at practicing it when we're not at a crisis point.
 

Does it take a crisis in order for you to live like it matters? Love like it matters? Be present in people's lives with your whole self and complete attention like it matters?

Live today. Love today. Be present today.

Here, here.

Hear?

(Art above from "The Parable of the Sower" in our new "The Songs of Israel" Bible Song themeset)

Kindness Movement

I found myself listed on a site connected with the "Kindness" movement in Africa. Is anyone familiar with these folks?
http://www.kindnessmovementofnigeria.com/usefullinks.htm

Kindness Movement

I found myself listed on a site connected with the "Kindness" movement in Africa. Is anyone familiar with these folks?
http://www.kindnessmovementofnigeria.com/usefullinks.htm

80/20 (Making time count)

I remember a study of twins separated at birth that the University of Minnesota did many years ago. They wanted to find out how much of who you are is nature, and how much of it is nurture. The results were astounding. If I recall this right, one pair of men in their 50s was reunited and tested. Both had married twice to women with the same first names. Both had cats that they named the same name. There were dozens of life choices and mannerisms that were nearly identical between these two men. Other twins had similar experiences. Again, if my memory serves correct, they concluded most of who you are -  between 70 and 80% - is determined by the genes.

Makes you almost wonder if the predestination folks got something right.

Anyway, I've used that little bit of info when talking to parents with troubled kids. (Is that an oxymoron?) If they are blaming themselves and feeling a lot of guilt, I tell them "Hey, you only had 20% to work with!"

I also use it with parents of little ones and preteens. "Hey, you only have 20% to work with! Better make the most of it!"

We have a guest tech intern living with us this summer, the son of my best friend Arlen. Leif is doing music and logging video interviews on the FAITH 5 topics for my new book and October conference. He's sitting in on our Highs and Lows and prayers every night. It's rather wonderful to see his reaction, hear his thoughts, and model together what family might be if we are intentional about keeping the lines of communication open and BEING the church every night.

Hey parents, you've only got 20% to work with. Make it count tonight. Every night!

DMin Here We Come

I had my entrance interview for the DMin program at George Fox yesterday and it went well. I'm in and ready! The first cohort meeting is in Portland in late August. Between then an now I've got to create the outline for my focus.

Then, the next three years will be invested in Semiotics and the Future with a focus on leadership in the emerging culture. Dr. Len Sweet and 19 folks from a variety of settings, churches and experiences will be along for the ride. It should be a major growth experience. I'm looking forward to the critique and challenges and tough questions that should help polish and propel the last 15 years of our work to a new level.

Speaking of new, here's a sneak peak at some of the work I've been doing combining the parables and the psalms. Kathryn (my daughter) just colored them last night. Keep your lamps ready.

 

I'm thinking that friends are like external hard drives on which you store additional memories and information.Share what's interesting to you

A Poem Upon Leaving the Cabin

Here the cabin sits

Empty and alone again

Quiet and expectant

Waiting

Waiting

Waiting for life

To stop by

Back from the cabin after another week of lock-up with the Psalms and Parables. Beautiful moonrises over the lake every night. The quote of the week that occurred to me while driving home:

"I suffer from bouts of temporary sanity."