Recruiting Young Parents

Recruiting young parents from an "I'll-not-commit-in-case-there's-something-better-to-do-at-the-last-minute" generation is no easy task. An great old FINK church in Indiana is struggling and needing advice. I'll show you their note, my response, and invite you to post your ideas of what's working for you in this department:

The QUESTION

Rich,

We currently subscribe to Faith Stepping Stones.  We offer Stone 1, 2, 3, 4, 6 & 7.  (We did use Stone 8, but have gone a little different direction with our High School graduates -- Stone 8 sent us in that direction.)

Here is our dilemma.  Every parent (except 1) who has attended one of these courses has praised the value of the information and in many cases has reported they are practicing blessing their, child(ren), praying with their child(ren) etc.

Our current problem (began last year and accelerated this year) is getting parents to come to the classes.  We hold courses on Sunday mornings when a full Sunday School is available for the children (age 3 to grade 4 Sunday School -- grades 5-8 confirmation, grades 9-12 High School Bible study) and a nursery is available for children under 3.  In three cases (stone 1, 2, & 3), we had 1 parent or none at all.  We talked to parents informally, mailed a letter to all parents of children in that age range, publicized this in print media of the congregation and announced it during worship announcements.  We have solid instructors (all professional teachers in our Lutheran school teaching and use the full technological version.

I am stumped at why we have failed to attract mom's & dad's to better learn how to help their children grow in faith.

I intend to do a series of informal interviews with a sampling of parents from these lower age groups to see if I can surface the underlying dynamics.

Right now, as I look toward next year, if we cannot figure it our, I may only subscribe to stone 4, 6 & 7 where we do get participation.

I have two questions after all that set-up:
   1) Got any ideas as to what needs to happen to get parents engaged?
   2) Is it permissible under our covenant to highlight the faith practices from Faith Stepping Stones in some other way, such as: bulletin inserts, home-made video of the practices in action, etc. as means to:
      a) encourage parents to do these things, &
      b) learn more by attending the courses.

 Paul in Indiana

My Response: Hey Paul,

Quite a dilemma. You can't help them much if their seats aren't in the chairs.

It sounds like you've done a great job of assembling a leadership team, doing a lot of advertising, and making the courses (once people come) valuable. Now, it might be time to change tactics and make these more of an expectation - and less than an option. You could try it for three years and I'm guessing you'll have much better results.

To do that, you may wish to consider a couple of strategic moves:

STEPPING STONE !: I'd offer this one twice a year and make it THE baptism instruction for everyone who's had a baptism in the last three months and everyone who is planning a baptism in the next three months. When a couple comes to you with a baby to baptize, consider telling them "Great! I'd love to baptize your child. At our church we do our instruction in groups, and I need you to commit to this..." Once they enjoy the three sessions, I'd invite them to help YOU TEACH it next time, bonding the groups and getting them into ministry together. Then, when it's time for STEPPING STONE 2, you'll have a more cohesive core for the stone.
STEPPING STONE 2: If you have a good core from SS1, I'd ask them to do the recruiting for this. I'd also invite SPECIFIC people with kids that age to help you LEAD it. Some to be greaters. Some to be table hosts. Some to bring treats or, if you go all out, to help with the brunch. Personal invitations with a small request for help beats everything you can put in the bulletin, announce from the pulpit, or put in the mail. (Although personal notes are a nice touch).
STEPPING STONE 3: I'd do this on the first three weeks of your KINDIE Sunday School, and make it a big deal - and an EXPECTATIO: "Families wishing to have their children enter our Sunday School must come to the first three sessions in order to enroll your children..."

I'll blog this and see what others think.

Hang in there! It's worth it in the long run.

Rich

(So... your advice for Paul?)

Comments

[Amy K]

I agree with Rich, and actually take it one step further from expectation to requirement! I hold two sessions of every Stone, and have parents register in advance. The letter/registration form that goes out states- "It's time for your child's next Faith Stepping Stone! We've scheduled two sessions to accomodate your family's busy schedule. Please register for whichever works best for you!If neither session works for you, please contact me and we will set up a time for a personal class." A week before the first session, I contact anyone who has not registered. And if there are people who register for the first session and don't show up, I call them to get them registered for the second session! I've been doing this for 4 years now, and I'd say 95% of parents now just accept that this is how we do things at our church! Changing any culture- ESPECIALLY a church culture takes time and takes commitment. So don't quit- please don't quit. As you've already experienced, these Stepping Stones are such a blessing in connecting church to home. I also teach the Faith5 at every stone. Hope this helps- blessings and hang in there!

[Debbie]

I agree with both Amy and Rich as this would be the ideal way to introduce The Faith Stepping Stones especially if you have a leadership team in place supporting one another and helping to make this an expectation/requirement.

Here's a few other thoughts and questions:
Is the description and look of a Faith Stepping Stone more like a class than a parent support group? If so, you may want to change the look of it and the description of it.

Is it possible to offer this in another time slot to accomodate parent's schedules?
Sunday morning at 9:30am for young families could be a challenge.

From my experience it seems that sometimes we perceive the parent's response
to us providing tools to help them be faith role models as something they want. We know they "need" it, but until a parent understands the important role they play in the faith life of their child, it's tough to get them involved in anything having to do with their spiritual life and the faith of their children.

Another thing to consider before you get too discouraged is the numbers and ratio of participation in the congregation.
Are there fewer young families in the past few years? Are only families in the congregation invited?
I see there is a school in your congregation, would you consider inviting parents from the school and/or offering
the classes in the evening to accommodate parent's schedules?

Teaming with the school, if possible, to provide parents with support groups can get them involved even if they don't go to the church.This is an excellent outreach opportunity for the community.

The success of Faith Stepping Stone #4,My Bible, makes sense as it is offered at the Sunday School hour and more like a Bible study for parents and children.

And to answer your question about using the FAITH5 language as the core piece, my answer would be, absolutely:)! Begin sharing stories in bulletins, newsletters, groups, and even from the pulpit.

[Angie]

My thoughts/observations: It's all about relationships. The first 3 years we did Stones, we made personal phone calls to all of the families we knew with kids of the right age--and yes, that meant 60-80 phone calls, plus post cards, plus newsletter articles, and e-mails, and posters, and announcements in church. The results? Some interest. Maybe 10% of those we contacted came to the events.

And then something happened...after 3 years, more people started to show up. I guess once Stones became part of the culture (i.e.: We always do Stepping Stones at our church), people trusted that this was a good way to start and strengthen relationships with other families, strengthen the connections within their own families, and grow closer to God and deeper in faith in the process. I guess it just takes time, attention, trust, and stick-to-it-iveness sometimes.

One more thig: we don't offer any of our Stones events (we offer all of the Stones during the year) during Christian Education (Sunday School) time. We make it clear that this is an investment--we ask a little more of the participants. My experience is that making things too easy gives folks an excuse to NOT participate. Set the bar higher. Expect more from folks. You just might get more in return.