Five Rules for Fishing for People (and fish, too)

We crossed Lake Vermillion to get to the extraction point. A 4 wheeler with a boat trailer drove down into the water and we pulled right up into the cradle. He locked us up in 30 seconds for the 5 minute portage up to Trout Lake in the Boundary Waters. It was rainy and overcast - perfect weather for a Walleye.

Terrible weather for a Melheim.

"There are only two rules for fishing," said our guide Jim, who retired from teaching junior high math to pursue his other love. "First, you have to go to where the fish are. Second, you have to keep the right bate on the hook."

"There's got to be a third," I said, naive yet confident. "Everything comes in threes."

"Well," Jim said with a wink. "Having the right guide doesn't hurt either."

"And fishing on a choppy, gray, rainy, overcast day?"

"Yeah, that, too."

"And what about trolling?"

"Most people go too fast. No fish is going to work that hard. You've got to put the right stuff in the right place at the right time under the right conditions in the right way. Then you let nature take it's course. You'll get fish. One other thing: when you feel that first hit, don't do anything but let go of the line. Let it run out for a slow 10 seconds before you snap your wrist and set the hook. Then reel in slow, steady and firm. And always, always let the fishing net bring the fish into the boat. Don't pull it out with the line or it'll snap with the weight."

Eight hours later with our limit of Walleye and bass, we puttered back to the extraction point. Jim knew whereof he spoke.

All the way home I thought of Jesus' metaphor to the fishermen, and how it related to what I had just experienced.

1. Go Where The Fish Are
If there's plenty of fish in the sea, but your church isn't exactly catching its limit and they're not exactly jumping into your boat, you've got to ask yourself "Where are the fish?" (You might have to get out of your building for a start.)

2. Keep (the right) Bait on Your Hook
What's the right bait for your target catch? If you're fishing for Walleyes it's either worms or leeches. Lake Trout like small lures. (The best is the Sutton Silver Spoon.) In muddy or iron-rich water, some say rattle baits are best because pike can locate the lure by sound. If you haven't decided what you're fishing for (target audience), then you'll never know what to put on the hook. And, if what you're putting on the church hook isn't getting any bites, it seems to me you have three choices:
    A. You can either sit and lament the fact that no one likes the liturgy any more... er... the spinner anymore, or you can...
    B. Appoint a fish committee to dive down and interview the fish to see what they're biting on today or you can...
    C. Put the kind of bate the target fish are biting on onto the hook and start fishing

3. The Right Guide
It helps to have someone who knows what they're doing in the boat with you. Someone who does this every day. Someone who knows the target fish inside out. Someone with the kind of sensitivity, knowledge and experience that gives them a hard-won insight into the mind and habits of the fish.

 If you're looking for 18-30 year olds, you might want someone who lives in that world. Or someone who has been around a long, long time and has had success reaching that world. You can waste a lot of time and money going to the wrong place with the wrong bate and the wrong guides (what does it cost to replace a youth worker every three years?) or you can find the right one and treat them right.

4. The Right Conditions
I hate being cold. I hate being cold and wet. Hence, I hate sitting out in the  rain. For some reason on Wednesday, that wasn't a problem. I was accomplishing what I set out to do, and seeing results every ten minutes. I could have been safe and dry and warm sitting in my office that day, but I doubt if any fish would have showed up. If the joy of the prize is worth a little discomfort, then get out of your element, get uncomfortable and realize it's just part of what it takes to catch what you're hoping for.

5. Working Too Hard
If you try too hard, you'll scare the fish away. ("Look, a young couple with kids! Quick, grab 'em!") Bring the right bait to the right place in the right conditions and leave the rest to God.

That night I cooked the following for my family, and there wasn't a piece of fish left:

Recipe 1: Citrus Delight (Reasonably Healthy... except for the butter)

Smear a little butter (or substitute) on the bottom of a glass baking pan. Line the bottom with large horizontally cut onion slices. Place the fish on top. Cover the fish with large orange and lemon slices. Douse the whole thing with lime juice. Bake at 425 for 1/2 hour.

Recipe 2: Golden Delight (Absolutely Simple and Delicious)

Dip the fish pieces in egg whites and roll in potatoe buds. Pour a cup of Canola oil into a large frying pan and heat on high. Place the fish in until crispy light brown on one side, then flip. When done on both sides, place on paper towel and dab lightly.

(PS - There was one more rule:

6. Using the Net To Pull It Into The Boat (Rather than hoisting it in with the line)
Okay. I'm out of ideas for the metaphor here. You'll have to figure that one out and let me know. )

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