The Melheimian Sabbatiblog

Youth Volunteers Living Together Quesiton

I get a lot of questions about youth ministry. Here's one I've never had. Any advice for this guy?

Rich,

I have had faithinkubators as the basis for our confirmation program about 10 years. I appreciate your materials, philosophy, etc. I wonder if you could respond to my question.

Here is my situation. For a few years, I have had criteria that I looked for in finding a youth advisor (unpaid) to work with the high school age youth from my church. One of the criteria is being questioned now by the president of the church council. To make a long story short, but to make it as clear to you as possible....this person is questioning my insistence that anyone who works with our high school youth must be married if they live with someone of the opposite sex.

I believe that this is critical in our day and age when youth see much sex in our culture and living together before marriage as the norm. This person says that I am being judgmental in that I will let not such an individual work with our high school youth. She says that we (many in society) are too focused on sex problems and are missing other issues in the world today. .hunger, war...She also says that I am highlighting one sin but forgetting about the others that people commit. 

(By the way, I do not make this criteria for any other position in the church, just in this area of working with high school youth where so much time is spent with these kids....and they likely may talk about sex. I always ask adults to work as guides with our weekly confirmation program, (6th-8th grade) so I am also particular in that position. I am the one who does the asking. I know their lifestyle.)

I told her that I am not being judgmental, but that I want to hold up the sanctity of marriage and that this person needs to have certain attributes - faith, a love for youth, outgoing, etc....but also they must, as best as possible be a good role model. If our actions do not coincide with what we say, or if our lifestyle is detrimental to being a good role model, our youth will continue in the ways of the world and not of God.

That is pretty much my stance. I have a meeting in two weeks with other leaders in the congregation on this issue. I'd like your insight.

What is your opinion? Do you agree with me? Is this something that I should be concerned about or should I loosen my stance?

Do you have any further insights for me?

Is there a book to read on the role of senior high youth advisors?

How would you approach this person and this meeting on this issue? 

Is this an area left up to the discretion of the pastor or should a board or council decide?

Thank you and God bless.

Pastor (xxxxx)

Welcome Aussie FINKs

Last night we picked up 9 youth and family leaders from the Lutheran Church of Australia from the airport. We're hosting them for two weeks to help them build a model for ministry for their church. We'll spend four days here in Stillwater, then head off to Colorado for a week in the mountains writing, dreaming, conspiring, and critiquing what we design for the church. Then we'll return to Stillwater for the last days to figure out the most prudent next steps. In June we'll bring a FINK entourage from the states to do a six city tour there to solidify our partnership and train a few dozen trainers for the continent.

We're also dragging in Dr. Merton Strommen, Dr. Rollie Martinson, Dr. Dave Anderson, Dr. Paul Hill, Search Institute, Bob Lenz, Nora and Tim Tahtinen, Amy Kippen, Angie Witmer, Matt Olsen, TJ Anderson and the staff of Trinity in Stillwater, and Rev. Nancy Lee Gauche from Luther Seminary to round out their experience.

We'll keep you posted on our work.

From Malaysia

Here's a little thread from my friend Sivin Kit in Malaysia:

Dear Rich,
I'm seriously thinking about using the Faith Inkubators material in the coming year or at least the coming season. I noticed that perhaps the pricing for international membership might be different compared to the USA price.  Could you advise me further?

I'm mainly looking at
Faith Stepping Stones
Bible Song Sunday School
GIFT.

By the end of the year we will have 10 babies born already ... church growth the old testament way.

Sivin

Dear Sivin,

Marvelous! I'll pass this to Arlyce and Vanessa, our business and membership people who know more about international pricing than I do.

I would very much enjoy seeing how you would use the systems and resources, and how you would tweak and customize them for your culture.

Have you any travel plans to the states in the future?

 

Rev. Rich Melheim

Founder & Chief Creative Officer

Faith Inkubators   www.faithink.com

Thanks Rich for the quick reply.

We've tried Godly play for a while and struggle at times (in fact very often).  While behind my mind I've always been wondering how we could combine the best of the more contemplative part of Godly Play and have a more holistic system like Faith Inkubators.  Of course, you are right, we need to work on the tweaking and customizing it bit (which I enjoy doing and with your permission of course). Somehow, Im trying to think in more integrated ways as well as more contextual as well. And this kind of multi-polar approach is one big challenge which I enjoy,

I'd love to come to the USA. No particular plans yet. The children are young, Gareth is 5, Elysia 2, and one more coming in NOvember.  So you can imagine :-)

Sivin

Hey Sivin,

Yes, with a 5, 2 and baby on the way, I'm guessing you'll be rather focused for a while!

The word "integrated" you used is the key. In America, many churches are running Sunday School systems completely apart from the family - I call them spiritual warehouses and baby-sitting services. Two hundred and twenty five years ago Sunday School was created for spiritual orphans running the streets of England every Sunday while their parents were drunk and sleeping in on their only day off.

Today the system designed for spiritual orphans is actually creating them (or at least, enabling them).

It's time we kill the Sunday School before it kills us. It's time we call parents to DO and BE what they once promised God they would DO and BE when they first held their babies in their arms at a baptism, dedication or christening. And it's high time we give the parents BACK to their children as spiritual mentors, guides and role models.

Enough of the sermon. Let's see what God is calling us to do.

 

Rev. Rich Melheim

Founder & Chief Creative Officer

Faith Inkubators    www.faithink.com