The Boomer, Buster & iParents (Part II)

To get to the heart of the matter, you must first get to the matter of the heart.

Reaching a Boomer, Buster and iParents means heading to the heart of their own personal needs, hopes, dreams and fears. (After all, it is all about me, isn't it?) What is their greatest passion as a parent?

They will tell you it's their kids. (Although, if you ask them to show you their calendar, it may not look like it on paper).

Most of them would die for their kids. Most of them would take a bullet, jump in front of a truck, and die for that kid without thinking twice. (On certain days, one might not die for the spouse without thinking twice, but they'd die for their kid).

Their greatest fear is losing the kid. They could lose the kid physically. The kid could walk out of their lives and never come back. They could lose the kid emotionally. (And most do for the adolescent years.) They could lose the kid spiritually. Any one of these things can and does tear the hearts out of parents on regular occasions.

What's the best way for the church to reach these parents?

Tip O'Neal said, "All politics is local." If you understand this, and know how much parents wish to have a great relationship with their own kids more than anything else, then you know what you must do. To these  parents, the church must come along side them and say:

 

"You want a great relationship with your child? I know how much you love them. I know you would die for them. I believe you can have open, caring communication, trust, and honesty with this kid all through adolescence and beyond... but it's gonna cost you something. It's not going to be automatic. Don't take out your wallet. Yes, you are used to buying your problems off, but in this case your money isn't good enough. Don't reach for your credit cards. Reach for your calendar. The cost of this fun, open, great relationship - and a child-turned-adult who even wants to talk to you when they're 18 - the cost is the most expensive currency you own - your time. You can always make more money. You will never make more time.

 

(And the clincher...) "I - the pastor/Christian ed director - will commit to you and your parenting if you'll commit to your child. It will be my personal goal that on the other side of adolescence you'll have a great relationship with this kids. I can't do this for you. I can't do this without you. (I can't take them one hour a week for two years and teach them how to enjoy your company and talk to you.) We can do a great job together. But it is going to cost you the most expensive currency you've got. I'm going to ask for five minutes a night of "Highs and Lows/Scripture/Talk/Prayer/Blessing" plus one hour a week of participation with us here at church.

 

What would it be worth to you if you had a kid five/ten years from today who wouldn't go to bed without talking to you, praying with you, blessing you?

Would it be worth five minutes a night and an hour a week at church to equip you? If you'll commit to that, I'll commit to you. And I guarantee you'll have a better relationship on the other end of adolescence than most parents who aren't intentional about this.

 

Notice you're not asking them to commit to the church. You're not asking them to commit to confirmation. You're not even asking them to commit to Jesus.

That will come!

(FINAL THOUGHT TOMORROW)