The Melheimian Sabbatiblog

Servant Lifestyle

I just read a Fuller Seminary doctoral thesis from a friend who has done FINK junior high/confirmation at his church for a dozen years. He won't let me quote it until he hands it in, but it was wonderful and affirming to see the good stuff he's doing at his Maryland church. The one weakness in his system was in Christian servanthood. They have veered away from the Faith Inkubators Formula of youth work which divides each month into:

Week 1    Theme/Learning Event (large group learning, small group care & processing)
Week 2    Servant/Fellowship Event (in small groups)
Week 3    Theme/Learning Event (large group learning, small group care & processing)
Week 4    Leadership Huddle (at a home to ask "what's working, what's not working, how can we make this better?" of the speakers, musicians, techies, guides, skit team, and all other parties)

In this church, they left the monthly servant/fellowship event in favor of asking small groups to do two servant events a year. Here was my response:

Dear X,

IF your church is having trouble getting kids to do servant events twice each year (parent's don't think it's important)...

and

IF Christian servanthood is better understood and experienced as a lifestyle, not just as two annual events (which can be skipped)...

and

IF Christian servanthood bonds small groups, creates great memories and aids in group cohesiveness (translating into fewer discipline problems and more fun)...

and

IF Christian servanthood experienced at a young age creates life-long servants...

THEN

I'd strongly suggest St. John consider going back to the three legged stool and elevate servanthood by going back to the FINK Formula of monthly Servant/Fellowship events as "Core" to the program. "This is just what we do."

(-;

In the 15 years of experimenting with this formula, the churches that have the most kids active as sophomores, juniors and seniors are those churches who adhere to the three-legged stool most closely... and that includes two learning/theme events, one fellowship/servant event, and one leadership huddle (off site at a home, looking more like a party than a teacher training event).

Blessings!

Rich

PS - We have added a top to the stool in the last three years - and that's the "every night in every home" expectation of parents sharing "highs and lows" with their kids. Our new journals are the tool for this... since NONE of our xeroxed hand-outs EVER make it home.

Art Moves the Movements that Move the World

Here's a little piece I recently sent to the Mayor of New York, the Ambassador from China, and the heads of the national media and national churches.

 

Dear Friends, 

This Sunday I'd like you to meet a man who I believe he will become the Michaelangelo of the next millenium.  If art moves the movements that move the world, my friend may ultimately have more influence on the culture of China for the next 500 years than Chairman Mao.

I know this may seem like an impossible and outlandish request from the former "Outstanding Journalist" of the University of North Dakota class of 1977 (yeah, that's me), but every once in a while I find something so compelling that I've got to tell somebody.

Here's why:

If Kevin Kelly of Wired magazine is correct in Wired Magazine  http://churchrelevance.com/kevin-kelly-on-the-next-1000-years-of-christianity/, the center of the faith of two billion people will likely move to Asia over the next 500 years.

If that's the case, there is one humble genius of an artist who's struggle through the Cultural Revolution and evolution as an artist may well have more influence on the world since any artist in history.

I would like you to meet him.

   

I am throwing a little reception for Dr. He Qi of Nanjing (www.heqigallery.com) on Sunday, June 24, from 2 - 4 at the Museum of Biblical Art, 1865 West Broadway in New York.  Seven of his originals are on display at the Museum of Bible Art , 1865 W. Broadway, all summer, while his print show goes on display at beginning Thursday, June 28, at  St.  John the Divine - running through Labor Day.  

His "Look Toward the Heavens" show of 27 of brilliant works has been traveling the country for the last two years. Folks as far away as in Japan, Argentina, South Africa and Australia are begging him to come and show, paint, and lecture. He Qi was artist-in-residence at the Overseas Ministry Center at Yale in 2005, and this fall has been invited to do the same at Oxford in England , and to paint a mural in a new mission hours that the Archbishop of Cantebury will dedicate October 26.  He Qi was recently described in a book published at Yale as "Chagall meets Matisse meets Picasso meets the East." 

It would be our great honor to have you join us for the reception Sunday. If you're up for it, we're going out for dinner after that and you'd be welcome to that, too. He Qi just flew to the States from China and only will be in Manhattan for 24 hours - Sunday Morning through Monday morning.

I know your viewers would find his story of learning to paint during the Cultural Revolution (Chairman Mao by day, Raphael's Madonna by night) fascinating.  

I do.

I also know this is very short notice, but thank you much for your kind consideration. If you absolutely can't make it or send someone,  I could arrange a phone interview.

But you gotta ask yourself - if you had a chance to interview Michaelangelo at the moment his genius was about to be unleashed on world, would you do it or send someone else?

(-;

Rev. Rich Melheim

www.faithink.com 

(By the way, He Qi calls me his "free agent." I refuse to be paid for this. I find it an uttery joy and honor. He's a quiet, humble genius who will one day shape the world.)

The Boomer, Buster and iParents (Part III)

If yesterday's approach to pulling parents into and onto the faith journey with their own kids isn't enough, here's one more thought.

NOTE: You're not asking parents to commit to something new. You're asking them to commit to someone they'd die for.

"I could create a great program, get a great curriculum, take your kid away on lots of retreats over the next few years without you, and ten years from today your kid will think I'm great. But what good is it if they think I'm great and they think you're an idiot? They can't and won't talk to you about anything? I haven't done you any good if I serve as the surrogate parent. I can't take them 52 minutes a week for the next 10 years and teach them how to communicate with you. I can't take them on 10 retreats and 10 camps over the next 10 years and teach them how to have fun with you.

I can't do it for you. I can't do it without you. We can do a great job TOGETHER.

And if you'll commit to your child - five minutes a night and one hour a week here - I'll commit to you.

Who, in a parents world, is looking them in the eye and promising to help them with the one thing that they need, want, and fear the most?

If you, the church, will do that, you won't have a problem with commitment, attendance or financing anything. If you genuinely*  promise to be their alley in keeping their family together  in a world that can tear them apart, you'll have all the help you need in family ministry.

SIDEBAR: Where does the word genuine come from?
 
genuine  [Origin: 1590–1600; < L genuīnus innate, natural = genu-, as in ingenuus native (see ingenuous) + -īnus -ine¹]from root of gignere "beget" (see genus), perhaps infl. in form by contrasting adulterinusgenu "knee," from an ancient custom of a father acknowledging paternity of a newborn by placing it on his knee.  "spurious." Alternative etymology is from L.

Nice He Qi Piece

I'm with He Qi in Hartford to help him keynote the Triennial Convention of the UCC. He goes on at 10:30, and Barak Obama goes on at 2:30.

Not bad company.

Speaking of He Qi, here's a little piece done by a friend in the UK, using He Qi's art and a Canadian singer's music.

Here's a beautiful, restful song by Canadian artist Christina Haberstock with He Qi's art in the background. It's called Love Song.

The Boomer, Buster & iParents (Part II)

To get to the heart of the matter, you must first get to the matter of the heart.

Reaching a Boomer, Buster and iParents means heading to the heart of their own personal needs, hopes, dreams and fears. (After all, it is all about me, isn't it?) What is their greatest passion as a parent?

They will tell you it's their kids. (Although, if you ask them to show you their calendar, it may not look like it on paper).

Most of them would die for their kids. Most of them would take a bullet, jump in front of a truck, and die for that kid without thinking twice. (On certain days, one might not die for the spouse without thinking twice, but they'd die for their kid).

Their greatest fear is losing the kid. They could lose the kid physically. The kid could walk out of their lives and never come back. They could lose the kid emotionally. (And most do for the adolescent years.) They could lose the kid spiritually. Any one of these things can and does tear the hearts out of parents on regular occasions.

What's the best way for the church to reach these parents?

Tip O'Neal said, "All politics is local." If you understand this, and know how much parents wish to have a great relationship with their own kids more than anything else, then you know what you must do. To these  parents, the church must come along side them and say:

 

"You want a great relationship with your child? I know how much you love them. I know you would die for them. I believe you can have open, caring communication, trust, and honesty with this kid all through adolescence and beyond... but it's gonna cost you something. It's not going to be automatic. Don't take out your wallet. Yes, you are used to buying your problems off, but in this case your money isn't good enough. Don't reach for your credit cards. Reach for your calendar. The cost of this fun, open, great relationship - and a child-turned-adult who even wants to talk to you when they're 18 - the cost is the most expensive currency you own - your time. You can always make more money. You will never make more time.

 

(And the clincher...) "I - the pastor/Christian ed director - will commit to you and your parenting if you'll commit to your child. It will be my personal goal that on the other side of adolescence you'll have a great relationship with this kids. I can't do this for you. I can't do this without you. (I can't take them one hour a week for two years and teach them how to enjoy your company and talk to you.) We can do a great job together. But it is going to cost you the most expensive currency you've got. I'm going to ask for five minutes a night of "Highs and Lows/Scripture/Talk/Prayer/Blessing" plus one hour a week of participation with us here at church.

 

What would it be worth to you if you had a kid five/ten years from today who wouldn't go to bed without talking to you, praying with you, blessing you?

Would it be worth five minutes a night and an hour a week at church to equip you? If you'll commit to that, I'll commit to you. And I guarantee you'll have a better relationship on the other end of adolescence than most parents who aren't intentional about this.

 

Notice you're not asking them to commit to the church. You're not asking them to commit to confirmation. You're not even asking them to commit to Jesus.

That will come!

(FINAL THOUGHT TOMORROW)

The Gospel of iPhone

I've always admired Steve Jobs... getting kicked out of his own company for not being corporate enough... then being begged back and defining style, cool, (and even a profit) as the little David company up against the Goliaths of the world.

In celebration of the phone his company is about to deliver, Monty found this piece that  is clever enough for a read.

http://blogs.business2.com/netly/2007/06/the_one_true_ph.html

So, what can Steve teach your church?

The Boomer, Buster & iParents (Part I)

My dad is 87. Ray still walks to church every Sunday, sings in the choir, and feels guilty if he misses a practice "because they might not have enough basses!"

That generation will be gone before we know it.

 

Replacing them - or choosing not to replace them in the church - will be the Baby Boomer and Baby Buster parents. Speaking from experience (after all, I am one) the bulk of my Boomer generation is  more "ask what your country/church can do for you" and less "ask what you can do for your country/church." We lost confidence in authority as we came of age, rebelled against everything during the 60s/70s, and ran away from institutions in droves. Today, as adults, we don't like authority - even when we are in charge - which presents an interesting dilemma. When it comes to the institutional church, we are now in charge, and we don't know what to do about it. As church members, if we don't like what we see in one church, we take a walk, set up our own fellowship, or quit altogether. We get what we want and think we can get away with anything. (After all, our poster-boy is Bill Clinton - the first boomer president).

Boomers parents are "What's in it for me?"

Keep that thought a moment.

 

Replacing the Boomer parent is the Buster parent. The Buster parents "still haven't found what they're looking for." Busters don't have a problem with authority like the Boomers. They simply dismiss authority as irrelevant. They don't have a problem with the church. The church was and is just not that much a part of their lives. They could take it or leave it, but most likely not have to leave it, because you can't leave something if you were never emotionally a part of it in the first place. Wonder why the Busters don't come back to church when they have kids of their own? They can't come back.

You can't come back to a place you've never been.

Replacing the Buster parents will be the Millennials or the iParent. To them, the world is a myriad of choices, friends, and interactions. Personal input, engagement and interaction is the expectation. This was  the first generation who spent more time on the internet than on television. They don't buy a "one way street" of communication like the TV generation. They won't listen to a one-way sermon, either. If they aren't engaged, involved in the shaping of the discussion, entangled in meaningful relationships in your setting, and doing "hands-on-make-a-difference-that-i-can-see" work, they will simply click away to a more meaningful setting. Oh, they'll click back from time to time to see what's up with you (staying for 4.2 seconds if they don't find anyone engaging in meaningful life) but they won't stay. Unless the system you have in place invites their gifts and talents and interests and comments directly in the worship and education experiences, and unless your place becomes a place for them to meet and relate to their friends, they've got far too many other options to mess with your faith community.

So, there's the challenge. How do you reach these folks?

 

I'll give you my opinion tomorrow. And, if you care enough to come back, you'll:

A. Disagree with it entirely (Boomer)
B. Both disagree and agree at the same time... and feel strongly both ways about it (Buster)
C. Not show up at all tomorrow because as an iParent you've got way too many things on your plate anyway, unless a couple of your friends show up and you find out about it and don't want to miss out on the fun (iParent)

Wonderful World of Winning Wes

My buddy and new daddy Wes Halula from Happy Fun time just found out he won  “Best Storyline” award at the Boston Film Festival for "Midnight Clear."

Way to go Wes!


Drop in at http://www.happyfuntime.com/ or leave a kudos, encouraging note, or horse racing tip  for WES at HFT Wes [mailto:wes@happyfuntime.com.

The Next 1000 Years of Christian Art... will be Asian

I've been reading a lot lately on the future of the church. It appears that China may become the new center of world Christianity in the next 100 years. That being the case, He Qi may well become the Michalengelo of the next 1000 years of Christianity.

If you had had the chance to help Michalengelo get seen, would you have done it?

Come on over to the Museum of Biblical Art Sunday from 2 - 4. I'm throwing a little reception for my friend, Dr. He Qi. Then, it's on to SPAMALOT with Kathryn, Arlyce and Joseph. Take a coach ride to the south west corner of Central Park, get out at Columbia Circle and walk five doors up Broadway.

If you can't make it, but know folks in Manhattan, send the message along!

Leggo Bible?

Off to the mountains for a couple days.

If you're looking for something fun, you may want to see what this guy is doing with Leggos to illustrate the Bible. I'm guessing this will keep you busy and smiling until I get back.

http://www.thebricktestament.com/